´I may be tiny, but I can be deadly´.
I am a consumer of almost everything about the condition of the off-the derech. What is now at the margins, the dissent wave against the various establishments, may one day represent the mainstream. It used to happen with the Hasidim once upon a time as well.
However, after reading quite a couple of such testimonies - and watching some movies as well - there is a given setting which defines this emerging genre, a pattern which at the limit is a easy/cheap recipe stereotypically reproducing itself. Some of its features are: escape from the ´cult´; cutting the ties/becoming estranged with/from the ´old world´ - among which children, siblings, parents and/or spouse; few paragraphs repeated in different forms about the oppressive dress code and the nida laws; excessive search for sexual adventures; getting saved by someone, something, an organisation, literature, the non-Jewish boyfriend. It looks as a cartoonish - cynical - description which unfortunately is what often the ´outside´ world wants to listen. No matter if it is the same old story re-told again and again, important is to have a bit of fun with an escape-game-from the Middle Ages cultish mindset.
There are some noticeable exceptions but unfortunately the more I read the less I am interested in continuing this intellectual adventure. Although, my curiosity is bigger than my literary standards, therefore count on my to review the next OTD memoir.
My latest journey was Julia Haart of Netflix´s My Unorthodox Life, Brazen. I had watched the movie - rather said, punished myself to do it - and was appalled by the vulgarity and exhibitionism. Plus, doing a bit of research, I realized how fake this ´reality´ show actually was. Both Haart and her daughter Batsheva divorced shortly after the end of the series, despite the excessive displays of love and harmony towards their respective spouses.
I started the book though with an open mind and I appreciated the first part of it, despite the high need of editing and the overall bad and incoherent writing. Plus an inadvertence or two, like mentioning that ´yeshivish´ is a sect.
Haart was born in Soviet Russia and left with her non-religious parents when she was three years old. Her parents, scientists by background, turned religious - not Chabad though - and with the enthusiasm of the new comers hurried to adopt extreme versions of different religious practices. Although lacking a formal education, Haart used to be a teacher - religious, including - in various girls school. As a Monsey resident, the mother of four felt oppressed by the men-predominant society, parting ways to a world where ´women acquire greatness by proxy´. Her taking off from the religious world took her around 12 years. At 42, she left her husband and started a career as shoe designer, living the fashion glamour while living in hotels by the week and heimische for her children during the weekend.
The ways in which she fought to keep his children close, despite her more and more extravagant style is meritory and no matter the circumstances, her success had a positive impact on the life of her children - her daughter Miriam and Batsheva are social media stars with fat advertising contracts and following.
Most probably there is much hidden from her story, that may not suit her ´feminist´ assertions. Less sordid still obsessive, her sexual adventures do not necessarily bring anything spectacular to her story. In 2022, many women do have sex when and where and with whom they want, especially her aimed audience. If they would have been told in a more literary way, maybe there would have been a higher interest, otherwise, a big bored sigh from me.
Her deep anger for being for over 40 years kept captive in a society not at all friendly towards women - bodies, clothes, their careers other than baby-making - is understandable. But there were people among the religious who invested first a humongous amount of money, without recipes, in her company.
Haart adds the character of the ´business women´ to the series of OTD life stories. It was partially interesting to get into her story, although I doubt greatly the veridicity of many facts. And a memoir whose authenticity is in doubt ceased for being a memoir at all.
