Short note about Unorthodox

It is not the first time when I promise myself to control my temptation to purchase immediately any book which is too much discussed in the media. I did the same with the 'famous' Unorthodox and purchased it shortly after the release. I have finished the book in two days and since then I am still wondering why this book is so popular.

I saw recently a TV show dedicated to the book and I realised that, besides the good PR of the edition house, it is the topic of intimate relationships that attracts so much the non-Jewish media. Indirectly, Feldman advertises a lot the Satmars, as not few media reports are tempted to identify this sect with Hasidism, which is not true and with core Judaism, which is even less true. But, apparently, the truth is not the strong point of this book introduced as a memoir, where some lectures - as Romance Reader by Pearl Abraham - were a  more powerful source of inspiration than the daily reality, or the account of a possible hidden crime in 21st century America was introduced as a sure fact. Many would say that she has a lot of imagination, maybe too much for pretending to write a memoir.

According to many of her media appearances, the author promises to come back with new literary works and I really hope that the next will be real good writing pieces. Unorthodox failed to be one, in my opinion, and when I saw a lady at a TV show moved to tears about the exceptional qualities of the book I thought something could be wrong with the reading standards in this world. I am not a snobbish reader and I do not displace the topic. But, compared with the good writing from Hush, for example, this book is centuries behind.

As for the story in itself, it could be an interesting story, but is not presented as a personal account. The lack of measure and balance gives the impression that all Jewish families are hard with their children (''All my aunts and uncles are hard on their children, it seems to me. They berate them, embarass them, and yell at them". p. 37) or many Jewish children are left because their mothers discover that they want to stop being married to a man with psychological problems and discover their love for the same sex (the special case of Deborah Feldman's family). In comparison with most Satmar children, the rest of the Jewish children do not lear distorted stories about Zionism and the state of Israel and many girls and women are able to study and read books. We do have mothers and fathers that love us and we do not meet our shidduch in a supermarket. Sometimes I felt that Deborah Feldmans' book is in fact an example of a Satmar way of thinking, trying to suggest to the reader - not always very much informed - that it is no other true that what she is telling us. Obviously, wrong. Another example is given by the account of her first marital problems, including the practice of the mikveh, when clearly she was the victim of the lack of proper guidance. I am sure she did not have a hard life and the guidance of a rabbi and a healthy family environment was lacking, but this is only the problem, not the solution. 

Hopefully, the Jewish world is more diverse than viewed through the lenses of an ex-Satmar. 

Asifa and the knife

I did not want to write immediately after Asifa gathering in Citi Field for various reasons:

- the preparations for Shavuot

plus

- I wanted to ponder, listed to many opinions and eventually make my own opinion.

At the end of a couple of hours of watching, listening, thinking and reading, I am tempted to utter a very balanced opinion.

I am convinced that the Internet is a very useful tool and, if used correctly, it is a very efficient outreach instrument for spreading Judaism and Jewish learning. There is an amazing volume of valuable information available for free and helping Jewish individuals and communities to connect.

Sometimes, as it is the case with everything human, the sources are not correct and the interpretations should not be taken as the ultimate truth. It is always important that the base of your knowledge is built outside the Internet or at least that you have a reliable source of information and inspiration for a correct perspective. Thus you need a rabbi.

The Internet is equally a source of immodesty, abuse and dangerous anti-Semitism. But, this is an example I was very often thinking about: a knife can be used for cutting your cake or for killing your neighbours. The latter option does not prompt us to forbid the use of the knives at all. 

Some of the examples mentioned in the very well designed leaflet distributed on Citi Field - 100% processed on the computer - were not out of context: there are people destroying their marriages because spending too much time on the net or getting engaged in illicit behaviour. More than once, I realized that Internet addiction could be similar to any other addictions, because we, as humans, prefer to kill our time doing nothing than being engaged in 100% active behaviour.

But, in perspective, I see this debate compared with what the discussion about the dangers of TV were in the 70s. Nowadays, I can survive without TV, even if I grew up in a household where life without TV was considered a proof of poverty.

I had the chance to work hard to build my freedom and I am free to live without Internet, if needed. The power of living for at least 25 hours connected with the spiritual world, during Shabbat, is an example that we can save our soul from time to time. But the confrontation between yetzer hara and yetzer hatov is never ending. 

The conclusion: I will continue to use the Internet, cautious to keep my spiritual freedom and avoid immodest online gatherings. In comparison with men, women are sometimes too busy to get lost in the idle online world. 

Dressing tznius is hip and trendy

A good article about modest dressing. Elegance, in general, has to do with modesty and good taste and this is why many Jewish women would maybe need to understand that dressing in pants, for instance, is not such a trendy way of considering themselves women. Change takes time, of course.

Being Proud of our Heritage

Before getting ready for the party and the barbecue, a couple of words about what do we celebrate on Lag Ba'Omer and the meaning of Iyar 18.

The 'complainglos'

This is one of the articles that I love to read early in the morning: tonic, smart and logic: The 'complainglos' | Nate Dubin | Ops & Blogs | The Times of Israel
I am terribly annoyed sometimes by people that are in Israel complaining that they do not like what
they find and by people that did not make aliyah because complaining about the realities they do not know.
If you do not like something, try to change. If you do not like your community, go find something else. But do not complain that the others fail to be as you expect them to be.

IDF launches campaign against soldiers hitchhi... JPost - Defense

IDF launches campaign against soldiers hitchhi... JPost - Defense

Glossary of Shabbat Buzz-words

Ready for Shabbes? Here is another useful writing from Aish.com, about Glossary of Shabbat Buzz-words
Shabbat Shalom!

Book Review: Table Talk, by Moshe Pinchas Weisblum

(I am very very late with many reviews of books I've read lately so it is about time to start the counting and do my writing job).

One of the most well prepared moment of Shabbes, besides setting up the menu, is reading and preparing the weekly Parasha.

I listen or read many variants: at the beginning of the week, I start searching for some related discussions on YU Torah or Chabad.org or while reading different interpretations in the Orthodox media.

On Shabbes, I usually read once the Chumash and shortly after the comments. I discuss one more the short version with the children. At shul, I am reading the Hebrew version by myself. Eventually, thereafter, I continue with another sum up the discussion with the children to be sure that we have a common understanding of the main benchmarks.

In addition, I listen to the shiurim of the rabbi delivered during the day. At the first sight, it might be more than enough,

but I always look for more interpretations and versions. The next level is to focus more on the home discussion and to spend more time around the Shabbes table discussing the weekly Parasha. For the moment, I am looking for suggestions of formats and ideas for brainstorming - mostly by connecting the ideas of the parasha to our daily life.

Thus I was more than happy to stumble upon a Moshe Pinchas Weisblum book dedicated to the Table Talk. For each parasha, there are a couple of simple questions with the suggested answer that could organize at a certain extent the discussion. The level of difficulty is easy to medium and it is not difficult to follow and participate at the discussion. For each Parasha I found new interesting angles of view and I think it is useful for many – like me – looking to establish a minimal level of the discussions held on Shabbes.

Who's afraid by the Internet?

May 20, Sunday in the evening, it will be a mass rally against the Internet on Citi Fields in Queens, New York City. When I first saw the news I had a deja-vu feeling: I am familiar with the strong opposition against Internet in many haredi circles. Recently, while I was trying to explain how many opportunities you have nowadays to learn about Judaism through the various online shiurim I was cut short that you cannot have a virtual Rebbe. I was explained that you should follow your Rebbe and be close to him and his way of being and behaving. Perfectly right, I thought, but what you can do when you live somewhere without direct access to a Rebbe and with no possibilities to attend a shul.  

I owe at a great extent my baal teshuva process to the resources that I found online and to the possibilities to connect with Orthodox people that were nowhere to find where I was living at the time. I know there are many people, including in the world of yeshiva bochurs misusing the Internet, but in my opinion you do not need to forbid Internet in order to eradicate the evil in the world. You better think about how to teach people how to fish their yetzer hara tendencies and win over their animal soul. This discussion has many common points with the debate about how a man survive in a world where there are women otherwise than by isolating themselves by huge walls. If one cannot control himself do not accuse the women. Very often, one of the reasons I prefer to daven in an Orthodox shul is that I have the mechitzas preventing men to start at women while davening. It is human nature and whether it is manifested online or in the cave, we humans are no much different from an epoch to another. 

It would have been better to invest the money used for organizing the rally in more educational programs, eventually an online program. 

The Scapegoat | Britain's Chief Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks | Orthodox Union

The Scapegoat | Britain's Chief Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks | Orthodox Union