What Ben Gurion dreamed

It is said that David Ben-Gurion said at the beginning of the state of Israel:

'Within the State the differences between various kinds of Jews will be obliterated in the course of time, the communities and tribes will sooner or later fuse into one national and cultural unity. Common education, the Hebrew language, universal service in the Israel Defense Forces, the establishment of a common minimum standard of living, the entry of workers from various countries and communities into a single labour federation, mixed marriages between the various tribes, common political action in non-communal parties, and so on, will produce a new type of Jew with the favourable qualities and characteristics of all the tribes of Israel'. 

quoted in J. Isaac, 'Israel: A New Melting Pot?' in W.D.Borrie, ed. Cultural Integration of Immigrants (Paris: UNESCO, 1959) p. 266

Well, the man plans and G-d laugh. I will not start right now to write an academic article about identity in the state of Israel, but what can I say is that, for sure, David Ben-Gurion's assumption did not turn into reality. And, in a way, it is better that we have nowadays a diversity of cultures, traditions, accents and people that all of them are part of the same country: the state of Israel. More than the 'goldene medina', Eretz Yisrael is a laboratory for all cultures and traditions from the world: from the serious yekke to the Shanghai yidden, to the delicious food served by Iraqi families to the messy Russian lifestyles. How can you be not proud that each day you can discover something new about yourself? You won't learn it in school or at a PhD program: you go on the street of Jerusalem and try to find a good restaurant to eat. Or in the Army, where you need to accommodate different lifestyles, from the secular to the religious. Even the voting patterns are following the ethnic lines and most likely it will continue to be so for a long time from now. Nothing to be ashamed, nothing that we would need to change. It can get complicated sometimes and the mixed marriages are not encouraged, at least not in the traditional families and sometimes 'we' vs. 'them' is not a pleasant episode of our everyday lives. 

But, in any case, Ben Gurion was not right, and not all the dreams, including the political ones, should be true.

The Newlywed guide to Physical Intimacy

This Newlywed's Guide to Physical Intimacy is on the market for almost two years but it caught my attention relatively recent, following some online reviews and discussions about it, including some controversies about how far the Orthodox writing can go and how open should it be in such sensitive issues such as 'physical intimacy'. 

Curious to read more and with some free time in my pocket, I decided to download the Kindle edition and spend some time reading it. It is a fast lecture, not only for someone practising 'speed reading': a simple language yet a careful choice of the words, plus some explicit illustrations that may help anyone at the beginning of the Orthodox married life. The information is useful and written in a very non-offensive way for the eyes of someone not-exposed to the such knowledge, even at a passive level. As in the case of many seminars for newly and older weds, communication is important in this stage of the life. An example of advice: 'Being sexual with each other is a unique form of communication, but that experience can be made more secure and comfortable if your verbal communication - what you each say and hear - conveys clear messages'. Easy to write, not so easy in practice, when people with a strong Orthodox/Hasidic background may not have the proper words to express what does it mean 'being sexual'. Also, there are a lot of 'superstitions' and fears as well as a lack of education in everything that has to do with the other gender and such issues need to be addressed with a lot of care and attention that goes beyond the graphic descriptions and the advice about what exactly to do when alone for the first time with a man/woman.

Somehow, the book assumes that its readers have a minimal though vague education - in the very sense of the word - about what they can can expect the first night of being a couple. 

The book is accompanied by graphic presentations and simple descriptions of the man/woman body that are helpful. As the authors have also direct experience of working directly with Orthodox couples and by far, the most appreciated part of the book for me was the one including examples of questions and advices. The responsibilities for 'making your sex life work' is the responsibility of both and in case that the problems are less about communication but of medical or haskafic nature, the immediate advice is to address the rabbi, respectively the doctor.

Not openly, but not in a hidden way either, there are hints about using toys and pornography is not overtly eliminated from the discussion ('viewing pornography is not automatically an addictive behavior'). If they say so...at the end of the day, it is a matter of personal choice that should be done in full agreement with the other member of the new family. 

The book is helpful but not enough for solving many of the issues facing a newly wed Orthodox couple. Let's hope it will be a continuation or at least an improved/expanded edition.   

A royal wedding

I have no idea how many people in this world had 25,000 guests at their wedding. Maybe some royal families but even there, I am not sure if the participants were so free to share the holiness of the moment. 

In the last hours, I watched a lot of pictures and videos from the wedding of the Belz rebbe's grandson. From time to time, I also saw some comments, many related to the appearance of the veiled bride (should she stay like this her entire lifetime, or what a culture when the woman should wear a white covering on her face...etc.), but it will not be the point of my articles.

Before the Germans destroyed Belz, there were 3,600 Jewish inhabitants, out of a population of 6,100 persons. The Belzer rebbe was on the list of the most wanted Jews and he succeeded to escape first to Hungary and after, shortly before the Nazis (ימח שמו) invaded the country, he and his half-brother succeeded to escape to the then-Palestine. All the members of their families left in Poland were killed.

The Hasidic courts were re-established in Tel Aviv and later in the Kiryas Belz, in Jerusalem. The Belz synagogue is nowadays one of the biggest constructions in the holy city. A new network of yeshivot and educational system was created, following the model of intensive study used by the Belz in the old country. In the US, the Belz have a high-end medical treatment center and several charities that may support those who are interested in spending more time in the yeshiva before and after being married.

Nowadays, the Belz chosids are everywhere: there are more than 2 thousand families in the US, as well as in Canada or UK. No more chosids in Poland. 

The current rebbe, Yissachar Dov Rokeach, is the fifth head of the dynasty, and the son in law of Rebbe Moshe Hager of Vizhnitz, another hasidic dynasty that was re-born in Eretz Israel after the World War II. 

Nowadays, there are at least ten times more Belz chasidim than in the shtetl. The message? עם ישראל חי