Ayuni by Sarah Ansbacher. An Adeni Love Story between London and Israel

 

Once upon a time, when I used to travel often to London for various reasons, someone told me a story about how he - with a Chassidish background - ended up on a shidduch with a divorced Yemeni woman and although he was tempted to advance with the match, his family was completely against, although until now he is still single. The reason was mostly the ´different background´ which sometimes easily translated as a nuanced refuse to accept someone of a more ´Mizrahi/Oriental´ in the family. I don´t want to develop too much, but often such reasons do not lack racist considerations and unfortunately, it could operate both ways.

I completely forgot about the story until I started this Shabbes to read a Jewish Romantic novel set in London, about the love between an Adeni boy and a Chassidish girl, Ayuni - a term of endearment in the Yemeni/Adeni dialect - by Sarah Ansbacher. I don´t remember ever to have heard about a Jewish novel featuring Adeni Jews, therefore I was pleased to read also for reasons related to the pure information about this group.

As part of the former British Empire, Yemeni Jews especially those from Aden, used to have strong trade relationship with London therefore  when the antisemitic attacks intensified, the British passport helped some to move to the UK. This was the story of Ben Aharoni, the young male character of the story, the first generation born on the British soil. He fell in love with Miri, an innocent Chassidish girl who just happened once to be the backup story to her best friend Raizy, while she was casually dating Ben´s friend. Although Raizy will eventually return to the usual dating cycle and will end up marrying a heimische boy, Miri will remain with Ben through which a new world opens up to her: movie theatre, TV set, physical contact with men, a relationship burgeoning before marriage.

And although everyone in this story knowns that this love cannot go anywhere, Ben and Miri included, the two keep adding to their story. Until it is too late to turn back, anyway. The diversity of London Jewish life, observant Jewish life, I dare to outline, is unfolding under our eyes through Miri´s innocent discovery of a different perspective, outside the shtetl - probably around Golders Green. The fact that in the end she will relocate to Israel, where it should be place for anyone, no matter the origin, is symbolic.

I was almost sure for half of the story where the story will lead to, but haven´t expected to happen this way and wasn´t prepared for the spectacular twists either. I was definitely pleased with the ending, after running fast through events in the second half. Ansbacher is treating her characters with empathy, trying to understand their motivation rather than accuse, judge and eventually kill their characters.

Ayuni is a diverse and insightful Jewish love story, that besides introducing the discussion about Jewish diversity - as we are all am echad - it also builds up an entertaining story. Although there may be not many Adeni-Chaddisische couples in London and elsewhere, as one of the characters of the book mentioned, ´it´s a different generation´ and hopefully the old stories of prejudice can win against love - for each other and am Yisroel.  

I am so curious about other Adeni stories that I am about to read her other book, this one seems to be fully inspired by stories of Jews originary from Yemen. I can hardly wait to finish my work chores for today and delve into the book.

Rating: 4 stars

Discovering Jewish Diversity for Children: Almost a Minyan

 

Learning as a child, with love about different customs and approaches to the daily practice is an important step towards embracing diversity at the old age. No matter our own personal choices, acknoweldging and further on accepting that other people may have a different understanding of Jewish practice is relevant for building up a healthy realm of tolerance and mutual acceptance.

Almost a Minyan by rhymes by Lori S. Kline, and illustrations by Susan Simon, published almost five years ago by Sociosights Press can guide pre-school and first grades children towards the path of acceptance. 

A girl is watching her father every day leaving the house early in the morning to pray at shul. She is waiting for the moment when she will be counted as part of the minyan - the ten persons required for a praying quorum within the small Jewish community she is living. As her zayde - grandfather in Yiddish - died, she will replace him, by using the tallit and tefillin who belonged to her grandpa. 

Some may not be used with the idea of women wearing a tallit or kippa or tefillin or being counted as part of the minyan. Many may reject it automatically as a corruption of religious practices. Nevertheless, there are women and communities who do practice differently, including by assigning different, more diverse roles to women. Exactly what Almost a Minyan is outlining, especially by the match between old and new traditions. 

A recommended read, including for your long winter Shabbos days, or as an inspired lecture preparing for the next month of chagim.

Rating: 3.5 stars

An Immodest Story

 

I am always keen to read memoirs, but also novels, featuring individuals, particularly women, who went OTD - out of the Orthodox Jewish path. With more individuals with a strict religious background having access to education and social media, the number of such work exponentially increased in the last decade. Although some may say that no one shows too much interest in portraying ´normal´ happy Jewish Orthodox families - partly truth as well, but do the happy Jewish Orthodox women do have the time and resources to dedicate to such projects (except some women rather belonging to the ´modern Orthodox´ version like Chabad)?

I am particularly interested in stories focused on the conflict between worlds, about the tension the character who left behind a stable world succeeds - or not - to swim through the challenging waves of the modern lives. Despite the patterns that are common to everyone, there are so many nuances that are part of the individual story of each and every one of us, as human beings.

Immodest is the second book by the Israeli author L.E.Einat - Einat Lifshitz Shem Tov.  She is based in Israel and has a BA in History, with masters in guidance and counseling. 

The book tells the story of Perele, a rebelious girl growing up in a big Orthodox family, married against her will with an aggressive man at a very young age, who will get a divorce against the opposition of her community leaving behind not only the abusive marriage, but her strict practice as well. The story has some interesting characters - her mother for example, able to overcome the limits internalised about marriage and women role by her community and makes a step towards accepting her daughter, as well as her mother-in-law, who ends up testifying by her own will in court against her own violent son, although her husband supported him. Perele herself is a well defined character, although she is missing a lot of details that would have make her more relatable, including her everyday Orthodox practice, besides the modesty rules - like, for instance, the fact that there are no details about her own relationship with religion, the ways in which she fills her day as a Jewish Orthodox woman.

The book also approaches the issue of sexual abuse within family, a vague reminder of the excellent and mindblowing Hush. However, this subplot does not necessarily adds on to the main story, being rather presented as a consequence of the lack of sexual education within the community.

What for me was very difficult to grasp for a long time within the story was: 1. Where exactly the story takes place and 2. What Hasidic group it is all about. 

As in the case of Perele´s own story, there are scarce details regarding the location of the story. For many pages into the book, the surroundings are so neutral that they can be in NYC, Marais or Stanford Hills. We are told somewhere that in fact it is happening in Israel, and I may figure out by myself that it could be Bnei Brak - also as it is close from the beach. 

As for the Hasidic group, the riddle is solved somewhere in the second half, as Perele is starting to share her experience with sexuality and the ways in which ´her group´ dismisses any mixture between genders and considers sexuality as a tool for procreation - and no, not all Hasidic groups think the same. Without being mentioned, it´s clear that we have to do with the very strict and cultish-like habits of the Gur Hasidim that do have an important number of followers in Bnei Brak. 

Another discrepancy for me, but maybe less important anyway, is the cover, which shows a woman that one will rather meet in Gush Etzion that in Bnei Brak where she will be for sure considered very modern. 

However, for anyone who wants to read about a story of survival through love and resilience, Immodest is a catching read. Those who went already to such a dramatic family break-up it´s a reminder of all the wounds that will never heal, but also about the chances that open up, once the walled world was left far behind.

Rating: 3 stars