I am always keen to read memoirs, but also novels, featuring individuals, particularly women, who went OTD - out of the Orthodox Jewish path. With more individuals with a strict religious background having access to education and social media, the number of such work exponentially increased in the last decade. Although some may say that no one shows too much interest in portraying ´normal´ happy Jewish Orthodox families - partly truth as well, but do the happy Jewish Orthodox women do have the time and resources to dedicate to such projects (except some women rather belonging to the ´modern Orthodox´ version like Chabad)?
I am particularly interested in stories focused on the conflict between worlds, about the tension the character who left behind a stable world succeeds - or not - to swim through the challenging waves of the modern lives. Despite the patterns that are common to everyone, there are so many nuances that are part of the individual story of each and every one of us, as human beings.
Immodest is the second book by the Israeli author L.E.Einat - Einat Lifshitz Shem Tov. She is based in Israel and has a BA in History, with masters in guidance and counseling.
The book tells the story of Perele, a rebelious girl growing up in a big Orthodox family, married against her will with an aggressive man at a very young age, who will get a divorce against the opposition of her community leaving behind not only the abusive marriage, but her strict practice as well. The story has some interesting characters - her mother for example, able to overcome the limits internalised about marriage and women role by her community and makes a step towards accepting her daughter, as well as her mother-in-law, who ends up testifying by her own will in court against her own violent son, although her husband supported him. Perele herself is a well defined character, although she is missing a lot of details that would have make her more relatable, including her everyday Orthodox practice, besides the modesty rules - like, for instance, the fact that there are no details about her own relationship with religion, the ways in which she fills her day as a Jewish Orthodox woman.
The book also approaches the issue of sexual abuse within family, a vague reminder of the excellent and mindblowing Hush. However, this subplot does not necessarily adds on to the main story, being rather presented as a consequence of the lack of sexual education within the community.
What for me was very difficult to grasp for a long time within the story was: 1. Where exactly the story takes place and 2. What Hasidic group it is all about.
As in the case of Perele´s own story, there are scarce details regarding the location of the story. For many pages into the book, the surroundings are so neutral that they can be in NYC, Marais or Stanford Hills. We are told somewhere that in fact it is happening in Israel, and I may figure out by myself that it could be Bnei Brak - also as it is close from the beach.
As for the Hasidic group, the riddle is solved somewhere in the second half, as Perele is starting to share her experience with sexuality and the ways in which ´her group´ dismisses any mixture between genders and considers sexuality as a tool for procreation - and no, not all Hasidic groups think the same. Without being mentioned, it´s clear that we have to do with the very strict and cultish-like habits of the Gur Hasidim that do have an important number of followers in Bnei Brak.
Another discrepancy for me, but maybe less important anyway, is the cover, which shows a woman that one will rather meet in Gush Etzion that in Bnei Brak where she will be for sure considered very modern.
However, for anyone who wants to read about a story of survival through love and resilience, Immodest is a catching read. Those who went already to such a dramatic family break-up it´s a reminder of all the wounds that will never heal, but also about the chances that open up, once the walled world was left far behind.
Rating: 3 stars
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