Bringing (kosher) Lust into the Relationships

There is a certain interest both within and outside the Jewish (more or less Orthodox) world about the issues regarding physical intimacy and the religious approach to pleasure. Although not always offering high quality advice but rather excuses for looking for marital pleasure, there are books that entered the public space lately aimed exclusively to the Orthodox, practicant young audiences. 

Rabbis and practicant people are becoming experts and utter public opinions about issues that are usually forbidden to mention in the strict environments, such as sexuality. The approach is more common among the 'modern Orthodox', especially a religious group that is trying to adapt to the challenges of modernity. Among them, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach ''America's Rabbi' is at the forefront of this new trend. Boteach was not only very close to Michael Jackson but authored several books aimed to support the need and religious support for a more open-minded manifestation of desire and sexual fulfillment in marital relationships. He even wrote a book about this topic together with Pamela Anderson. Let's skip the part of comments and thoughts about it and jump to the concepts.

Kosher Lust is an interesting although not innovative way to encourage search for intimacy in marriage. Based on various examples both Jewish and non-Jewish, it is clearly targeting a group of practicant Jews more open to the modernity including in its marital aspects. It asks the man to oblige and the woman to openly express and communicate its desires which in the strictly Orthodox environments is relatively impossible as sometimes the words are missing as well as the easiness to express things not common within the community and its sources. The Biblical references are mostly well chosen, but added the author's interpretation that it is not necessarily original. I am also sure that the average liberal Jews will not buy easily the explanation of separating spaces for women and men as well as some details regarding the impure period of time of the month. 

I personally found the book relaxing, useful for changing the shift from the eternal search for love to the simple enjoyment of the moment of lust which makes the marital life much easier. However, I am not sure that would love to read all the book in the series and browse all the variations on this topic. It is a thing good to know but not too know all about it.

Rating: 3 stars

  

Book Review: I Am Not a Spy, by Michael Bassin

As I already mentioned in a previous post, Jews in Gulf States, many in countries until a couple of years only, rabid critics of Israel, are anything surprising or new. Most of them were brought there by contracts in the oil industry or various architectural projects developed in the area, and they succeeded to keep their identity hidden while little by little creating a kind of discrete normality of celebrating Jewish holidays and various events. 

Most of those Jews are mostly for work and getting openly involved in public diplomacy initiatives is out of question, for various reasons - personal security being one of them. However, the young Michael Bassin made a different decision. As a young American Jew he decided to educate himself and then discover with his own eyes and mind the Arab world in order to eventually change the conflict in the Middle East. Obviously the conflict concerns more than the local Israeli-Palestinian conflict as third-part actors from the region are always getting involved with money and propagandistic support against Israel - which doesn't mean necessarily on behalf of the Palestinians. 

Michael Bassin started to learn Arabic and applies to scholarships in Arab countries. He is open about being Jewish even though it means that automatically he is the target of suspicions and various verbal abuses. He has to say more than once: 'My name is Michael and I am not a spy'. Which does not mean that his fellow students will really believe he is not one. Ignorance, brainwashing and the comfort of an easy mind are what convinces more than having an open mind and trying to understand the other person, be it him an 'enemy'. Those students are not better than the people from the poor countryside indoctrinated by thei religious leaders to hate the Jews. Jews are the most convenient enemy in this area and when things go awry or wrong they are the one to target, even many of them never seen any in real life. And someone apparently so nice and genuine as Michael Bassin, they are going through an existential crisis because could a Jew be trusted? A classical circle of hate and denial which is not only specific to this geographical region but I've personally encountered among middleclass Europeans as well. 

After spending more than enough time studying or travelling through the Middle East, Bassin decided to put his experience and language skills in the service of the peace. Where else can he learn better about the conflict than in Israel ? He is enrolling in the IDF, trying to grasp the conflict from inside. And there are many lessons learn from this, including the fact that sometimes, people may come along much better than the news about the conflict shows - for instance the fact that repairing your car in a Palestinian village is saving time and deliver quality to the inhabitants of Efrat. 

I've personally found the first part of the book - featuring the experiences in the Arab-speaking realm more entertaining and interesting - but it could be because I am more hungry for those experiencec than for things that I've personally experienced already in Israel.

Written partly as a travelogue, partly as a memoir, I Am Not a Spy by Michael Bassin is an useful yet easy reading for anyone curious to understand the basics of the tensions in the region and the slim although realistic chances of a certain change in the next decades. 

Rating: 3 stars

Jews in the Gulf?

A couple of years ago, a friend of mine, herself Jewish, told me that she just attended a bar mitzvah celebration in Dubai. With an American or other non-Israeli passport, is not that difficult to enter the Kingdom and I've been more than once told about Jews visiting the Kingdom and about even more who would love to experience the shopping adventures in one of the many high-end malls.

Now, the Jews in the Gulf, discretely and taking into consideration security concerns, are going out in the media light. If the media portrayed them it means also that it is much safer than a couple of years ago to do so and that there is a certain gentlemen's agreement regarding their presence. After all, in comparison with many other monoteistic religions, Judaism doesn't practice and encourage prozelytism therefore, at least from the religious point of view. However, this does not affect the decades of brainwashing of the many generations of locals living here, as well as the people from all over the Arab countries and region living, working or studying here. (More about this in a coming book review)

Is it safe, recommended, good for Jews to live in Dubai, other than for financial reasons? To visit this place, enjoying the lavish high-tech life and architecture? Curiosity is always a good incentive to start something new or completely out of common. I personally have a lot of second/third/fifth thoughts about going to a place officially preaching against Jews and Israel. I'm pretty familiar with anti-Semitism and I don't need any more examples of how far you can go in shaping and spreading a political and social/educational discourse focused on the hate against people that you hardy know. 

Things are changing, especially politically - although from the religious point of view there will be never a sincere approach to Judaism - and countries like Oman, Bahrain are becoming more clear in their tolerance towards Jews and especially Israel. There are some circumstances dictating such an approach, mainly the need to counter the overwhelming influence Iran and its cronies are trying to spread in the region. Which also means that expecting wonders - although we are in the time of Hanukka - is unrealistic. But at least it can plant the seeds of a potential change for good. One day. Not today, tomorrow or in a year.

The Ruined House of Intellectual Self-Sufficiency

'He has never been a pedantic library rat. Scholarship is an art for for him. His light, airy manner suggest a painter or a sculptor working in a spacious, well-lit studio, whisting to himself as he works. Most academics of his generation, products of the ecstasis of the sixties, transliterated their own youthful rebellion into political radicalism, but that did not necessarily lead to methodological creativity. Andrew had never succumbed to the cheap temptation of being a professional rebel or playing the exhibitionistic role of the university enfant terrible. Although well versed in the standard critiques of capitalist society and proficient in teaching them to his students, he had never fallen prey to the anger and bitterness that characterized many of his colleagues. The buoyancy of his ideas keeps them afloat. From above, they can easily shift perspective, sometimes tumbling into creative free fall like Alice down the rabbit hole'.

Meet Andrew P. Cohen, professor of comparative culture at NY University. He is easygoing, divorced with 2 children, dating a much younger former student, enjoying the good life and the high social status conferred by his impressive intellectual and academic achievements. He is not going through an identity crisis and doesn't want to be anywhere else he is already. Moderate, not dillematic and crossed against himself and the rest of the world as the academics portrayed decades ago by Saul Bellow or Philip Roth. He doesn't care about religion more than he should. It doesn't match anyway the average aesthetical outline of the NYC intellectual landscape.

At least, he used to be so until the crisis occurred. His reality started to get intruded by strange creatures from the time of the Temple, Cohanim and their ancient rites, to whom theoretically Andrew belongs too. Only that his temple sits on a different ground or he insisted to believe so. It is not a matter of life and death and the world of comparative cultures doesn't accept a hierarchy. Can you live without a basis, your own, not all the world's cultures?

The fact that often, regardless of educational background one needs a basis to stand is a basic issue, and has often a stereotypical solution. The ways in which Ruby Namdar created his story, the construction of his literary temple is outstanding and although I've often felt overwhelmed by the bias, I couldn't leave the book because of the beautiful writing and images created. The book was beautifully translated from Hebrew which make me curious to look into the original version that it might be a fundamental work of Hebrew language too. The Biblical knowledge is equally outstanding, with Talmudic commentaries and episodes that require dozen of books and additional commentaries to understand.

The Ruined House is a fundamental literary work about intellectual perception and identity and marks a complete new shift into the mainstream contemporary approaches. Its contribution to the history of ideas and Jewish mentalities is an important brick into our Temple after the Temple projections.

Rating: 4 stars 

Winternähe - About Jewish Identity in the German Lands

When it comes to Jewish identity in Germany, I've often read about a lot of topics, all interested but not necessarily relevant for my interests. Many young promising writers lately published their memoirs or novels, in German, about their experiences of being Russian Jewish or mostly from the former communist countries and facing a completely new country with its rules, new language and local communities reluctant to welcome to warmheartly the new comers. 

However, I've been always curious about the experience of local Jews of growing up and living in Germany, not only after the war but especially in the last decades of the 1980s and beginning of the 1990s. I personally know one person that might have some stories to tell but I completely abhor so I better look finding for honest and interesting people. 

I've first heard and seen Mirna Funk a couple of years ago, at a discussion at the Jewish Museum in Berlin dedicated to Israeli-German relations, literature and identity that although it was a bit too leftist in essence, brought interesting topics expressed by young writers and intellectuals. Her book, Winternähe, was not ready yet but the dialogue I've witnessed then made me curious enough to buy the book shortly after publication. 

I will not enter now into the - very important though - halachic debate about how is a Jew, and how the Jews in Germany define themselves. The book has also many autobiographical insertions, at least as I take into account the various public statements by the author herself. The character of the book, Lola grew up in the former communist Germany, with a Jewish father who run away from her and his country as far as from Australia. Her German mother wasn't too family bound either so she lived with her paternal grandparents. In the new, democratic, reunited Germany she is making a life of her own, trying to define herself, in a different way than other people - both Jews and non-Jews - want to define her. She is genuine, a bit chaotic, financially independent to run away from Berlin to Israel - during the latest war - and then to Thailand. She needs to settle to a herself she is not aware how to find it, where to find it and how to clearly define in a readable way for the other people - noth Jews and non-Jews - too. Her ideas and her context are sometimes highly stereotypical, but this is the feeling I've had often when I've tried to delve more into the local Jewish approach. When you go beyond the overall accepted culture of rememberance there is nothing clear to expect and most probably anything good either when it comes to Jewish perception and identity. 

Besides the actuality of the topics raised I also liked the style - I've read the book in the original German language - and the character construction. I only wish I'll discover more genuine German authors writing about as many relevant Jewish questions and issues as Mirna Funk.

Rating: 4 stars