You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah available since the end of August on Netflix is a sweet coming-of-age comedy featuring Adam Sandler, his wife Jackie (as Gabi Rodriguez Katz) and their daughters Sadie (as Ronnie) and Sunny (Stacy, the girl who is looking forward to her bat mitzvah party). Sunny´s preparations for the bat mitzvah party may involve more than preparing for an epic event, as the world seems to crush: her best friend is dating her crush, she is constantly fighting with her parents and otherwise the preparation of reading her Haftorah seems to be going nowhere. But what about taking the mitzvah from the party seriously and trying instead of throwing an expensive party to fix somehow the world, starting with repairing her friendship.
The movie is based on a 2005 book by Fiona Rosenbloom that I haven´t read by now.
The movie is entertaining, relatable to both teenagers and their parents, with topics that are generally common to such age-related issues. However, the subject as well as the framework of the movie is fundamentally Jewish and definitely proudly outlined. The teenagers and their parents featured in the movie are proud to be Jewish, wearing their Magen David and kippot, attending the Sunday school in the ´Temple´ held by a hippy rabba who loves to be on the threadmill while teaching having her consulting hours. They are diverse children of all possible appearances and names, all of them sharing the same identity and - again - being very proud of it.
For an American audience, it makes a lot of sense and it´s pretty common, but for the more traditional realms, including in Israel, it´s hardly heard of. Luxurious bat mitzvah parties, where girls are reading their portion in the ´Temple´ during the week and party as crazy in the weekend, are rarely heard of. And so is the idea sometimes that there is a vibrant non-Orthodox/non-traditional Judaism, happy and unproblematically own. Which is obviously wrong.
Therefore, You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah is a both a movie for children and their parents, more or less traditional, funny but equally a reminder that Jewish life in general is beautiful and a blessing and enjoying it in the many ways it´s experienced is equally a mitzvah.
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