I knew that this will happen one day or another. I was warned as well, but besides it, I feel it I am about to go through this messiness as welll. Nothing extremely wrong, but enough messages in the last 48 hours for a serious wake-up call. I was about to forget reading my kapitels, not too much learning in the last weeks or when I did, I was quite absentminded, hasty reading of the parasha, without too much concentration, arriving a bit late in shul, saying some brachos completely inert, reminding a second before eating the cheese sandwich that it is not the time to do so after the chulent. The tzedakka for the last month was meagre, despite a relative improvement of the financial situation.
I know there are not transgressions as such, but it is a certain fatigue that may be understandable at the end of a certain stage of development, but worrisome if the leniencies are not prevented by serious communal involvement and more learning. Everything is going fabulous, in fact, but there is a certain routine that is replaced by new rules and schedule and priorities going in the same direction but sometimes any drop of mediocrity could endanger the stability of system set to fight only for the best. At least I don't have to fight laziness. Yet.
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