The Guide for the Jewish New Parents

Anita Diamant is a writer that besides novels, also wrote useful guides for the modern Jewish families, like for example the practicalities of the Jewish wedding. She uses the traditional basis, but in a very open way, incorporating the reform and liberal customs and addressing interfaith families too - that we like it or not, do exist.

The New Jewish Baby Book - the second edition - covers the details of the first days of the baby until the very first year, by covering the diversity of the Jewish families nowadays. It uses halachic arguments, but it is not following the strict view and most probably if you are on the very strict side of the observance, you may not appreciate some of the opinions expressed. 

The book is so systematically organised and rich and information that even you consider youself a literate in all things religion and tradition, there is still something to learn. The novelty for me was the reform/conservative/liberal literary tradition that I am completey unaware of, dedicated to different occasions like brit milah/brit bat etc.

The book covers a variety of topics, in the smallest details, including how - and when, preferably on Rosh Chodesh - to organise a baby shower, the choice of a name - with a long list of names for both boys and girls and their meaning, what question to address a mohel, how to make announcement and write invitations for brit milah etc.

Although not extremely comprehensive, the book has also a final section dedicated on adoption, an issue that is still lacking a systematic guidance for Jewish families. 

Overall it is an useful read for the new parents trying to juggle with the obligations of taking care of a new life while keeping a certain degree of religious observance.

Brit mila in Germany

If this blog was silent for a long time, there is a motivation and it has to do with the mental and physical challenges before welcoming a new baby to the world. The baby b''H arrived, a bit later than expected, but shortly after Kol Nidre. After the happiness of becoming the new boy neshama to the world, second in line were the worries about preparing him for the challenges of being a Jew.

The first step: brit mila.When you are living in Israel or in big communities, finding a right mohel, being sure that there is a synagogue where to go, inviting people in due time etc. As brits do not have a high occurence here, due to the limited number of new Jewish children born, I considered that it is very important to find a mohel with the proper medical knowledge besides the religious background. Another challenge that needed a bit of research and a lot of phone calls (if interested to find a recommended mohel in Berlin area, do not hesitate to get in touch via the blog).

According to the halacha, the brit should be done the 8th day after birth, including on Shabbat or yom tov. The problem appears when the kid had a small infection and you need to overstay in hospital and thus, to miss the deadline. Normally, the brit can be done any time after and if it was delayed once, it does not matter when it is done. However, the sooner the better, so the search continued with high intensity after being out of hospital with the baby. 

As we tried to follow both the tradition and the medical requirements, asking doctors if the child is good enough to go through the brit was normal. Less normal was to agreee with the message read on the faces of the non-Jewish doctors when explained that we are questioning the medical condition of our son because we want to make the brit: from pity to disgust. This explains the support of some German medical representatives after the 2012 court decision Cologne according to which brit was considered "a serious and irreversible interference in the integrity of the human body", not justified by the freedom of religion and the rights of parents. One prestigious chief doctor in a very respectable hospital in Berlin outlined during a short discussion that the opinions against the brit are not necessarily a German trademark. Of course, as history showed it already on several occasions, forbiding the brit is a trademark of anti-Semitism across centuries. 

The less expected answer come from a hospital that we initially considered as a possible support during our search where we were told that the brit is done there only till the 18th day and that only after 3 years. The more we asked the more we realized how pitiful we are for being away from the place when you do not have to explain why your kid does not have yet a name and why it is so important to have the brit done. A place where being Jewish is enough.

1 Minute for Munich

1 minute for 11 people killed by Palestinian terrorists was refused by the International Olympic Committee. Predictable? Maybe. Acceptable? Never. 

Meanwhile, there are many things that do not make sense lately, in a Europe that apparently lost the sense of its reasons:

- Hezbollah is not a terrorist organization

- After Germany, some hospitals in Austria and Switzerland decided that will not allow circumcisions and the European rabbis fear that the craziness can spread further. I've read today an article in the English edition of the German Der Spiegel where it is said that 'Circumcision for Non Medical Reasons is wrong' outlining that some Muslims demonstrated some 'willingness' in this issue. 

- The terrorist attack in Bulgaria where innocent people on vacation were killed by apparently people close to the organization that Europe refuse to consider terrorist. 

It is good to know that we will be always here. But sometimes it is hard to cope with the whole hate.