Conversations with My Body

When women are erased from religious publications and from public life and the calls for a radical separation between the women and men are becoming more and more vocal, books like Conversations with my Body. Essays on My Life as a Jewish Woman by Elana Sztokman are a trustful companion to those women who do not want to give up their rights and dignity.

Approached from very personal angles, but also from an anthropological perspective, the articles are covering a variety of topics burning nowadays in the Jewish world: the oppressive dress code and the body politics, sending women to the end of the bus - literally and symbolically, the overwhelming number of cases of eating disorders among Orthodox Jewish women, the overall limitations women of all ages should cope with during their lives. 

Although the topics repeat themselves, each article brings a new idea or point of view, as the author herself is ready to share more personal experiences and insights. The personal note of most of the articles brings not only authenticity, but has the force of an example empowering women that may want to follow of similar path but are not sure what to expect or how to actually do it. 

The direct tone and openness in sharing her life journey is key in creating awareness about the general topics that affect the everyday lives of Orthodox Jewish women. Over two decades ago, Sztokman decided to uncover her hair, which is mandatory for a married woman, and continued with smaller or bigger steps on creating her own path: as a woman, mother and Jewish feminist. Using a clear anthropological mindset, she makes clear distinctions which help to understand various patterns and mindsets.

Conversations with my Body is an inspiring book especially for those women looking for a Jewish life outside the society models ordered by men and sometimes sheepishly vouched by women. All can start so easily, by taking back the control over our bodies, piece by piece. 

Book Review: Jephte´s Daughter by Naomi Ragen

In the Book of Judges, Jephtah (or Yiftah) led successfully the Israelites against Ammonites. In exchange, he made a vow to Gd to sacrifice whatever would come out of the door of his house first. It was his only daughter who showed up but unrelented, he went on with his vow. What a foolish character? What a crazy vow to make and keep, and how contrary to the Akeida of Yitzak when Gd stopped Avraham from killing his only son, whose faith he wanted to test himself. 

Jephte´s Daughter by Naomi Ragen was written at the end of the 1980s. Issues like the way in which women are treated sometimes by extreme men blind to see the many stumbling blocks they built around the Torah, are more stringent than ever. The erasure of women from the public realm is unfortunately a widespread behavior within the Orthodox communities in Israel and abroad, and it jeopardize the essence of Judaism.

The rich scion of a prestigious Hasidic dynasty arrives in Jerusalem from America in a glamorous style - old Sadagura style - to find a husband for her only daughter. All his relatives died in the Shoah and the husband of her daughter is expected to lead further his prestigious dynasty. Himself, he is rather busy with his businesses but is looking for a brilliant talmid of his generation, to head his heritage further. Isaac Meyer Harshen seems to be the right choice and although Batsheva started to have doubts about his real nature, they moved on with the wedding, for reasons of preserving the future. 

Once she moved to Jerusalem, in the ultra-orthodox headquarters of Mea Shearim, in the house his father bought, fully equipped, allowing them to have a relatively carefree life, that Isaac is learning daily in the Kollel, the things are getting worse and worse. Physical intimacy is considered a painful duty, her books of English literature are burned, she is constantly beaten, including during her pregnancy, she has to give up her right of using the common bank account and the modesty dress code is close to rags. Although such an interaction between husband and wife does not represent the way in which observant Jews are treating their wives, such cases, especially among the Gur Hasidim, may be possible. 

But he had just acted the way he thought he was expected to´. Isaac is an interesting character, in his stone heart way of behaving. He is far from being a scholar, was bullied and beat in school himself and is emotionally limited to understand life, no matter how much Torah studies. Clearly, Torah was not meant to be a rigid way of learning, but its study beautifies life. On the other hand, there is the community pressure, the ´fishbowl effect´, when people refuse to think by themselves as they are under a tremendous pressure from outside to behave in ways that the frum society expect them to. 

Batsheva´s drama is being torn between her obligations towards her parents and her religious duties. A brilliant mind herself, she is forced to submit to the instable husband. Once becoming a mother, she sees better what the future can be for her son and what knowledge he can acquire from such a father and his surrounding society - especially the cheder where pupils are encouraged to improve their learning through beatings.

Her radical decision to leave everything behind and move to London was not a break-up from Gd. She is keeping the mitzvot, eats kosher and abstain from any physical intimacy with a man, as she is not divorced yet. Her gentle return to herself is an example how a woman can keep being observant in dignity, while fully accomplishing her human potential. ´Tomorrow, she thought, and for the first time in many years, her days stretched out before her as her own book of clean blank pages full of endless, delightful possibilities´. 

Naomi Ragen succeded to manage a big range of characters, in a dramatic yet harmonious way. The non-Jewish characters of the book do represent a variety of typologies, from the anti-Semites to the simple neutral persons or her good friend Elizabeth who, besides being by principle against Batscheva´s strict upbringing, acts as a matchmaker from heaven. 

From the literally points of view, the book has so many surprising twists, until the very last page. As an avid reader of Naomi Ragen´s books - more to come in the next weeks and months - I´ve always found some interesting and relatable aspects about Jewish life and practice to think about. 

Rating: 4.5 stars

Book Review: Bread Givers by Anzia Yezierska

´The whole world would be in thick darkness if not for men like me who give their lives to spread the light of the Holy Torah´.

Anzia Yezierska is a chronicler of the poverty and hardships of the first generations of Jews coming to America, the ´goldene medina/the country of gold´ (a diluted version of milk and honey). Her memoir Red Ribbon on a White Horse is a testimony of her personal experience of growing up in a family dominated by a dictator of a father dedicated to religion but neglecting his own family, but also of the struggle for every crumb. Growing up poor in this world is like a sickness which usually occurs sooner or later anyway. 

In the novel Bread Givers, part of her personal story served as an inspiration for some of the characters. As in her real life, the father of the family, Reb Smolensky, is a Torah scholar oblivious to the needs of his daughters and wife. The daughters are his source of revenue and marrying them is a business that should help him survive. For him, women are just an add-on, who may bring some money into the house besides keeping the house lit for the comfort of the learned men. ´Women had no brains for the study of God´s Torah, but they could be the servants of men who studied the Torah. Only if they cooked for the men, and washed for the men, and didn´t nag or curse the men out of their homes; only if they let the men study the Torah in peace, maybe, they could push themselves into Heaven with the men, to want on them there´. Maybe...Surprisingly or not I´ve heard such platitudes more than once in our current times.

Ironically, there are the women characters, all of them, who are more sympathetic and stronger than the men. They are not only ambitious and successful in their endeavours, but also are pretending men to offer them comfort and praise their presence. The switch from the generation of women from the ´old country´ to the ´Americans´ is done. 

The brave main character of Bread Givers is the little Sara who´s running away from a house blackened by poverty and the dictatorship ruling of a narcissistic father. She will be the only sister who will achieve a professional career - as a teacher - and a rewarding relationship, through hard work and resilience. The resilience of people who survived pogroms to move to America and start a new life, but in most cases, those chances happened rather for their children and grand children. 

Literally speaking, it´s clear that the audience of this book has a very different profile as the readership of today, both Jewish and American. However, there is a deep humanity of the characters which appeals across ages and times, including Sara´s late reconciliation with his abusive father and her emotional attitude when faced with the death of her mother that she willingly separated. The way in which the story is told creates a special ambiance and set up a story which is interesting to follow because of its universal human interest.

Every time I am reading books like Bread Givers I feel like a whole history of American Jews is becoming more human and easier to understand. It is a hard history of struggles and hardship that helps to understand how far they succeeded. It´s a sociological and anthropological insight that may explain a lot.

Rating: 3 stars