Questions learned during the 9 Days

Every year, the sad period of the Nine Days culminating with the Tisha B'Av, are an occasion for bringing back more humility and restraint and a reconsideration of all the things that I might think there matters but in fact are not that important as I thought. In the last ten years, after the death of my mother on Tisha B'Av, the event is an even straight invitation to more reflection. Years ago, on a Tisha B'Av, I realized how much I want to learn more about Torah and decided to be part of an intensive program of learning that I keep following till today.

But I will not talk about my mother now, but about what I decided to think more about in the last weeks. For happy health reasons, this year I did not fast, but tried to limit as much as possible my eating activities and did not prepare something special during the day. The focus of the nine days this time was how we, as Jews, we can be wise enough to realise that fighting against each other, although both parts may have right, is toxic for our soul. How money and prestige and other vane promises can be put aside when it comes to the understanding and respect of our fellow Jews. Destroying - including a Temple - is so easy, no matter how many years were spent for the complicated building process. 

Can we be better person with the others? Can our leaders have more vision and see the risks of disunity before they decide to be part of a conflictual situation? Can we think twice before accusing or judging someone? Can we dare to give the advice and share our opinion when we feel that something to be decided can endanger our Jewish unity?

These are the questions that will need a long answer and more consideration in the next months. For now, the time of mourning is over and it is time to enjoy the rest of the summer and get ready for the hagim season, with its mysteries and secrets of the New Year that it is about to start soon!

Dealing with the 9 Days

My big challenges of going through the 9 Days when living in galut is to keep yourself sober in a sea of futility. There it is not always the society's fault for such an entertaining and easy view of life. This time of the year is usually the children's vacation time and at least till a certain age, it is quite difficult to explain them why they should not listen to music or make fun or play loudly in the garden. Or not going to the swimming pool. Especially when you don't have a reliable Jewish camp around, the pressure is even harder, because you are almost left alone to explain to them why 'we' are not like 'them'. 

Somehow, it has to do not always with the 9 Days, but with many of our attitudes to life in general. On Friday evening, when I go back from a communal Kabbalah Shabbat evening, we pass through a loudly disco with drunk teenagers with pink and blue heads waiting in line in the front of one of the most famous club in town. Can you think about the moment when your kids will grow up and will look at such behaviors not only with curiosity but with envy as well? One may say that the education offered by the parents will prevent them by doing so. But the parents cannot watch the kids' thoughts and there it is always a small risk. 

Back to my 9 Days dilemma, there it is always something distracting us, especially during the summer. In my thoughts, I get ready spiritually, thinking and reading about the Temple and trying to have a small table talk, but I cannot avoid a certain feeling of happiness and accomplishment when we have a new good meal, or when we read a good book or when we meet old friends - this is summer and this is what happened usually. Plus, having a work that deals with travel, it involves going in new places and sometimes really enjoying the feeling of being on the road. Or, what can I do when a client that delayed a payment for over a month finally decided to fulfil its obligations? Keep some money for tzedaka and be grateful, for instance. 

Maybe the right feeling is to remember always that it is not enough and we still have bigger and more important to do. And for those living in galut, that we should end up being satisfied with what we have, because we deserve something more. Watching to keep a certain modesty of thoughts that will prevent the blindness of self-sufficiency. I avoid to call it a tragic condition.