Still surviving

Most part of the tremendous support enjoyed by religion is based on the terrible fear of dead. It's an unequal mix between pure fear and selfishness (of the kind "I want to survive at any expense, now and the illusory, but better than nothing after-life") and it is quite secure to think about a "life", your life precisely, continuing after your physical death.

Humans set-up rituals of remembering the deaths mostly to be constantly assured themselves too, when not alive, will be remembered somehow. It could be psychologically healthy and the concept of social guilt is, in some respect, compulsory for the members of a family to follow the traditions, whatever the religion or their inner beliefs. Shortly, a huge hypocrisy.
Facing the death of people you fully love is terribly painful, but it's nothing you can do about it. It's not about looking to replace to loved one(s), but to try to reorganize your life (this one you are living right now) from a different perspective, being at least happy of having at least the occasion to experience what others are looking for a whole life without necessarily ever finding. You have the taste of an authenticity, maybe impossible to find lately, but still a real life standard, not an imaginary one. This could be terribly painful too.
As an atheist, I took everything as it happened, as facts occurring into my life. Not a single moment felt the need for a prayer, and I don't have/need tombs to put flowers on it, to carefully arrange weekly or to light candles at. A one year Kaddish is nothing and by no way it would alleviate such a loss. But I tried to reorganize the happy memories into a daily life of self-respect, not acceptance of narrow-minded, denial and lies and illusions. I had the chance to know at least one single authentic individual.
Found this morning on richarddawkins.net an interesting account of an Atheist woman who found her own way of living with the grief of loosing the loved one. Without Gods.