Staying at home for the holidays. And some New Year wishes

This year is the second in a row when for the Jewish high holidays I am staying at home. The last year I was in the last days of pregnancy and the baby boy was born the evening of Yom Kippur and until I was out of the hospital, the holidays were already over. This year, the baby is still too small - at one year - to be carried on in a crowded synagogue and with him going up and down around the place, the chance to daven properly are almost nil. Thus, with the broken heart, I took the decision to spend one more year of holidays at home, taking care of him and trying, when possible, at least to meet some of my dear friends during the meals. 

Life with a baby is not easy and I was not expecting to be able to keep my usual routines, including the regular shul going. But, at least when the house is quieter, I am trying to daven quietly and to do the usual brachot. Fasting is hard, especially when I have to focus all my energy on taking care of the baby, preparing his food and taking him in and out of the house on my own - 10 kilos and counting is not very easy to carry on, but I am trying to not think at all at the weight and focus instead on offering him my safe arms for a smooth ride. (As I am writing those few lines, I had to stop several times to calm him down and watch him while making clumsy steps around the house, so even my favourite path of life, writing, is suffering considerably under the new conditions).

At the beginning of this difficult time, I used to have some second thoughts about what I would have done if...or if...or if...But wisdom prevailed and instead of poisoning my life with frustrations of 'never done', I decided, as often in my life, to focus on the moment and offer to my baby the best version of me, including in terms of time dedication. It is time for everything, my life had showed me and I am very much decided to keep this spirit for swimming through these holidays, and any other holidays when I would  need to stay with my baby at home. As for now, he is my precious diamond that I should take care of, with all my might. 

For this year, 5777, I wish myself strength, courage and humility to cope with all the challenges that, for sure, Hashem has stored for me. My wishes for all my readers too!