Sunday, 14 October 2018

'One of Us'...

Telling the stories of people that left the Hasidic way of life in New York, the Netflix documentary One of Us is as heartbreaking as such stories could be. 
No parent should be left without his children because a different life choice. No child abuse should be tolerated, regardless how pious the perpetrator looks like for the community. The help organisations like Footsteps in New York offer to those who left the fold to integrate into the new life is tremendous and it is important for people to know that they are not alone. After belonging your own life to a tight community when everyone is part of the whole, finding yourself completely on your own in this big crazy world requires a lot of time and patience and knowledge about how this worl functions. But everything has a price and those finding their way 'off the derech' might not do it alone.
The documentary made by Heidi Ewing and Rachel Grady last around one hour and a half and features the changes taking place into the lives of Luzer, Ari and Etty as they decide to leave behind their closed communities. Filmed over 3 years, it covers dramatic changes taking place into the lives of the participants, such Etty's defeat in court against her ex abusive husband which leads to her being separated from her 7 children and Ari's recovery from drug abuse. 
The community can be a shield for those who are in and a terrible weapon against those who left. I personally know more than one case of a man who left the fold and man given visitation rights to his children that remained with the observant mother because it happened to be part of an important Hasidic family. But if you are a woman without a supportive family - in Etty's case even her own family testified against her - you are lost. The fact that the abuser of Ari is still in a position where he is close to children that he can eventually abuse is outrageous. Those stories are examples of what is actually wrong and sets limits of things that should not be accepted. 
I personally would have expect some wider coverage of individual stories, that may reflect the diversity of reasons and situations why people leave and what happens after. I know many success stories and people that also managed somehow to keep their parental rights and also cases when child abusers were brought to justice. The stories brought to attention are heartbreaking and interesting but especially for someone not familiar with the phenomenon, it may bring a bit of diversity and shape a completely different perspective.  

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