Book Review: Becoming Eve by Abby Chava Stein

What are the successful literary ingredients of a successfull newly emerging OTD - off the derech, leaving the fold - literature (especially memoir)? Add some details about how insular and inadequate according to the standards of the 21st century those Hasidic Jews are living, include a spicy detail about arranged marriages (which happen in other traditional non-Jewish communities as well), don't forget to mention some hard-core information about the lack of sexual education and the family purity laws. If you have some references to the Kabbalah, so popular for all the wrong reasons, you can call it a recie for success.

The non-religious Jewish and non-Jewish audiences will easily roll their eyes while enjoying to have once again a confirmation of their deep doubts about 'very' religious Jews. 

On the OTD literature shelf, Becoming Eve. My Journey from Ultra-Orthodox Rabbi to Transgender Woman by the very active Abby Chava Stein is unique because it deals with the first transgender ex-Hassid featured in a book. 'A beautiful, traumatic, loving, angry, obedient, rebellious journey'. 

However, exactly this transition part is last featured in the book, covering around 40 from the 300 pages. The rest is covering in the small details the daily school and yeshiva program, the intensive 'sexual education' program received before marriage and other exotic details about Hasidic families, for instance the dispute regarding the colour of tights her mother was expected to wear in order to respect the modesty standards in her father's family. 

The fact that will lead to the decision of finally coming out as a woman is confirmed many times during the story, with reference to memories as early as of 3 years old. Through hypnosis, maybe it is possible to have such recollections from such an age.

Personally, I was waiting for this memoir for months, but probably I had too many expectations. 

Descending from the line of Besht, the founder of Hasidism, Abby Chava Stein belongs to the Hasidic royalty, whose representatives 'have to be role models, (...) have to be careful with everything (...)'. From her early school years, Abbi Chava Stein challenged the learning system and the chore of faith itself. So bad that probably a lot from her story got lost due to various commercial reasons probably. I hope there will be a continuation of some kind of this memoir.

As for now, my favorite OTD memoir is Leah Vincent's for the dramatic introspection and insights about what it really means the deep loneliness of leaving your community and starting a completely new life. Some outsiders will clap their hands extatically and praise the move, but how it really is only the person doing it really knows. 

Our 'Talibans'

Based on his direct experience as a lawyer, Yair Nehorai wrote a poetry-novel telling the story of a child growing up in an abusive household. 

Lev Tahor is a cult counting around 200 people that lately set up headquarters in Bet Shemesh in Israel, its distinctive feature being a burqa-like dress for the women. Nehorai, which is criminal lawyer, defended the son and the husband of a woman leader of the group, that was charged with child abuse. This is not the only 'unusual' case Nehorai dealt with, as he frequently defends members of extreme anti-Zionist groups like Neturei Karta.

Translated in German - this is the version I've read - as 'The Child of the Taliban Woman', it was published in Hebrew as 'Vtahiyeh li ima keveri' ('And my mother would have been my grave'). 

The block of verses are organised per years, and one can notice the increasing tension shared by the protagonist, the growing up child telling the story of his alienation from his more and more extreme mother. We have here the usual 'we' vs. 'them' contrast, which is anyway typical for a certain isolationist mindset, with a depreciative take to everything that has to do with modernity and people adopting it. But, in addition, there is a very extreme and aggressive take, which has to do with the corporal punishment and verbal abuse against children that do not conform to the unrealistic standards set by the parents. In this case, without any normal connection with the Torah learning and education, but just the result of people in high need of a psychological support. There are individuals lost in the intricacies of spiritual promiscuity and superstition, that lost the love and humanity that the word of Torah might bring in the life of people. 

Unable to know any other world and surrounded by people with similar problems, the little child is going through a stage when he acknowledges the need for punishment, agrees with the need to be treated in this way. Until his world grows up and his perspective on the world changes as well. He can see the difference and realize that he is a victim.

The poetic form of expressing this story is unique, but makes the story even more interesting and dramatic at the same time. 

I've seen many reviews in German trying to outline that this is a typical 'Ultra-Orthodox' story, but obviously it ignores the very specific cult-status of this group, which is rejected by many representatives of the strict religious groups in Jerusalem and abroad. The stories of abuse surrounding not few people belonging to this very small group are indeed shocking for everyone, but a basic knowledge and background of the group will avoid generalisations. 

Shtisel

The haredi - ultra-Orthodox - world is often portrayed in literary or visual representations - either done by people that left the fold or are insiders, as a massive homogenous block. The members of the group are either perfect and self-righteous - the insider's view - or oppressive and intolerant towards any manifestation of difference and secular knowledge - the outsider's. 

Shtisel - a movie I am binge-watching on Netflix since the year of 2018 - makes a difference by creating and adding nuances to the extreme descriptions and creating realistic characters and stories. Based in the Geula ultra-orthodox neighbourhood - Mea Shearim is one of the many of them in Jerusalem - it develops around the Shtisel family. Each of the characters, regardless the age and gender, they have their own struggles and problems, either with the society or the other members of their family. They have passions and need to make choices, are doubting their mission or just don't stand each other. 

Interesting is also the different aproach on religion and the switch of traditions, from the Yiddish-speaking culture to the Hebrew traditions, or the positioning towards the Israeli state and the secular holidays and world in general. 

There are honest depictions that contribute to creating good and memorable stories, with individuals whose life and decisions you would be curious to follow from an episode to another. Some of the characters are also very well played, and my favorites so far are Ruchami (played by the very talented Shira Haas) and Akiva (played by Michael Aloni) representing complex personalities with a very strong will that are facing unusual situations that require decisions that are sometimes suprising. The scenario was written by Ori Elon - who also wrote the Srugim (Hebrew series featuring dati leumi singles in Jerusalem) and Yehonatan Indursky that studied at the Ponevezhn Yeshiva in Bnei Brak, an experience that he featured in a movie.  

As far as I know, it is the first time when the world of Haredi Jews is revealed to the outside world and it might be a surprise both for Jews and non-Jews. It is also the first time when probably this view is non-judgemental, wrapped as art and offering a largely realistic outlook. 

As for now, there are only two seasons available, filmed in 2013, but it seems that there will be more coming up, probably with the location of the movie moving to Brooklyn. I, personally, can't wait the new adventures of Shtisel family.

Window on Israel: Ghetto revolt

Ira Sharansky

Jerusalem Post

July 17

There is a ghetto revolt in Jerusalem. It began several weeks ago in protest against the municipality opening a parking garage on the Sabbath that served visitors to the Old City. It escalated in protest against the arrest of a woman from one of the ultra-Orthodox communities on charges of abusing her three-year-old son.

The ghetto is always seething to some degree. Protests can escalate at any time on account of opposition to a store selling non-kosher food; the discovery of bones at a construction site; the demand that a road be closed on the Sabbath; advertising posters showing immodest women; or a demonstration of gay pride. The ghetto is not unified. There are numerous congregations tracing themselves to Central or Eastern Europe, or Morocco. Some have a history of several hundred years, and each clings to its traditional dress, nuances in ritual and doctrine. Experts say that it is possible to identify the various camps according to the hats and stockings worn by the men, and the wigs or scarves that women use to cover their heads. The larger communities have integrated into Israeli politics, and exercise their weight in the city council and Knesset. The Chabad (Lubavitcher) reach out to other Jews like missionaries. They introduce outsiders to ritual, and seek to gain their support or even their affiliation to the community. Several congregations operate schools for individuals who had been secular, transform themselves to newborn Jews, and are extreme in their loyalty to what they see as true Judaism. The congregations offer social and material support to their members, and help in the selection of a mate. Some congregations are steadfast in their isolation, and opposition to the heretic state. Disputes between the congregations are no less prominent than disputes between the ghetto and secular Israelis. Placards denounce an offending rabbi in the harshest of terms, and yeshiva students may be sent to attack the property or the students of his congregation.
When one of the communities finds an issue that excites others, the whole ghetto is likely to respond. None can remain behind on an issue that gains traction as defense of Judaism. The woman charged with abusing her child is an example. She had starved her three-year-old boy to the point where he was severely undernourished and weighed only 15 pounds. She was affiliated with one of the smallest and most extreme of the congregations, but the involvement of the police and municipal social services with a pregnant woman was enough to recruit others. The protest spread when the police arrived with their truncheons and horses to clear the streets. The ultra-Orthodox community in Beit Shemesh has begun its sympathy protest. So far other ghettos have been quiet. From 2003 to 2008 the ultra-Orthodox had one of their own as mayor of Jerusalem. Uri Lupulianski engaged with the establishment by serving in the IDF and working his way up the career ladder of municipal politics. His election could have marked the beginning of ultra-Orthodox dominance. They amount to 30 percent of Jews in Jerusalem, as opposed to 10 percent of the Jews throughout Israel. They obey their rabbis on issues of politics, and turn out in municipal elections at rates that reach three times those of secular Jews. Insofar as almost all Arabs of East Jerusalem boycott the city's elections, the ghetto could own the city. In 2008, however, one of its inner conflicts set a major congregation against the ultra-Orthodox candidate. A secular candidate, Nir Barkat, moved into city hall. It was he who ordered the opening of the parking garages on the Sabbath, after frustrating negotiations with representatives of ultra-Orthodox congregations. Currently, in response to several nights of burning trash dumpsters and stoning police, journalists, cars, and buses, Barkat has ordered a cessation of garbage pickups, and municipal social services in the ghetto. The municipality and the national government provide considerable resources to the ultra-Orthodox. They qualify for significant discounts on local taxes and water charges due to their large families. Ultra-Orthodox parties in the Knesset work to assure funding for the schools run by each congregation, most of which ignore the demands of the Education Ministry to provide basic instruction in secular subjects along with their emphasis on religious texts. The parties also demand considerable money for housing, most recently over the 1967 borders in Modiin Ilit and Beitar Ilit. These towns have given the ultra-Orthodox a stake in the conflict over the Land of Israel, and add their complication to whatever can be done about defining the boundaries between Israel and Palestine. Almost all ultra-Orthodox men claim their special exemption from military service. They gain little support from the larger community with the claim to be more effective defenders of the nation than the IDF, due to their study of sacred texts. Each of the congregations also relies on fund raising from affiliated communities overseas, mostly in the United States, Britain and Australia. The occasional need to arouse the enthusiasm of donors may account for the commotions in Israel. Defending the faith against heathen Jews is a way of opening the wallets of ultra-Orthodox millionaires and poor people, and other Jews who respond to Yiddishkeit. Currently one of the main arteries in the city is closed to traffic, and the alternative route is choked as a result. The two major bus lines between French Hill and the center of town are doubtful. There is too much commentary in the media. We hear representatives of the ultra-Orthodox and the anti-ultra-Orthodox, as well as the municipality and the police. It resembles what the media provide during a war: too many voices explaining the position of the Arabs, the Jews, the government and the IDF. One can measure the balance in the media by the insistence of extremists from all sides that they are given a bad deal. It is a time to praise the classical music station, Salvation may not be the right term for what may deliver us from this evil. We can expect a cooling of passions as on previous occasions. A local court has ordered the woman accused of child abuse released to house arrest for Friday and the Sabbath. The police oppose the move out of concern for her other children. The police will release the protesters they arrested, and there will be calming voices of rabbis and secular commentators. Until next time. Perhaps when the parking garage opens again for Sabbath visitors to the Old City. It may all be confusing to those who do not understand, or who cannot understand. The ultra-Orthodox are part of us. They have political weight. They do not dictate policy, but neither do secular Jews.

See also:

The Child was Saved. According to some reports, the mother was an example of patients suffering of the Munchausen-by proxy syndrom.

About Toldot Aharon

Jerusalem Post

The founder of this group,

Aharon Roth, who died in 1947, started the tradition, which continues to this day, that every male member of the sect signs a contract obligating him and his family to abide by the strict dictates of Toldot Aharon. Clothing, customs, even how the hassidim spend their spare time, is carefully regulated. Cohesion is as tight as super glue.