Orthodoxed. A Film by and about Berel Solomon

 

With so many books and testimonies around the web about leaving Orthodox Judaism - in its manifolds and various representations, I often complained that more testimonies about Jews returning to their origins is essential for balancing the facts. Being an Orthodox Jew - Hassidisch, Litvisch etc. - has only a way out and no one wants to go it? In my opinion, it is a false premise, as personally I known many more people who are actually returning to faith, a phenomenon very common among people in their 30s and 40s, in Israel and abroad. There are people who mostly grew up with any or a very limited religious education who in the middle of their life, found themselves lost and in need of guidance. They started alone or as a family, by keeping kosher and Shabbes and learn Torah and create religious families. Without relying on serious data, I may assume that this is a phenomenon predominant among Judaism, as my non-Jewish friends I´ve questioned about similar moves among Muslim or Christian denomination are rather unique and are mostly the result of religious conversions, particularly when it comes to young people.

Last night I was finally offered the chance to see a challenge to the predominant narrative about Jews living the fold, as I watched Orthodoxed - available to watch for free on YouTube - by and about Berel Solomon. Berel Solomon grow up in a culturally Jewish family in Toronto, where, according to his own account, they ate pork chops on the Friday evening Shabbes table. He went to Jewish school and Jewish camps but without a proper religious education. Soon, he become part of a dysfunctional group, got involved in drug trafficking and then got into the nigh club business. He had the mind for business and even launched his own reality show. Until the pressure of his ´empty´ life was too heavy as a burden and he collapsed. 

´Looking for the truth´ he first reached to a Breslov Hassid and ended up - where many baal teshuva end - by Chabad. Diplomatically, he does not mention the group too often, although there is a flash-picture of their 7th Rebbe and he prayed to the ohel in NYC. His rhetoric suits very much the usual Chabadnik enthusted by the return to traditional values and I may say that he sounds a bit too aggressive and show-offish for my taste. After all, the return to religion does not happen overnight and no matter how much one would love to come back to traditional values, technically it is impossible as one needs time to go through the long process of understanding the complex rules of kosher and of Shabbes, among others. But there is a lot of enthusiasm for burning up the stages and starting to catch up with the time of ´unkosher´ life. 

Berel Solomon is now training in Jewish business leadership, and has a religious family. His parents were a bit shocked by his choices - although they seemed not so worried as he was a drug dealer and nightclub entertainer - but nevertheless they got used with his beard, and kapota and kippah. 

Despite my reservations towards any kind of loud declarations of faith, I am glad that a film like Orthodoxed exists and despites its imperfections and shortcomings, it offers a different take on being religious and Jewish in the modern world.

 

Book Review: An Observant Wife by Naomi Ragen

 

One year after reading An Unorthodox Match, I am done with the sequel, An Observant Wife which follows the beginning of the married life of Leah - former Lola, a BT (baal teshuva, repented Jew who returned to Orthodox Judaism) - and her husband, Yaakov. I had access to the book in the audiobook format, read by Gabra Zackman. 

Although a sequel, it stands on its own and one can read it independently without the risk of not being able to understand what it is about. There are several useful mentions about the past events taking place in the previous book. I´ve found this book better structured and balanced than the previous one, approaching very stringent topics for the Haredi community in America and elsewhere, such as acknowledging mental health and sexual molesters. 

One of the reasons why I am devouring anything written by Naomi Ragen - actually, I´ve listened to this audiobook in two days and I hardly wanted to take a too longer break curious about what is to come - is that compared to other authors approaching the ultra-Orthodox world with a critical eye she is doing it without the black-and-white perspective. Knowledgeable both in terms of practice and halachic standards, Ragen creates a world of many nuances, human with all its highs and lows. It is more or less how this world - in Boro Park or Kirias Joel or Bnei Brak - operates in real life. Therefore, the characters of her books - An Observant Wife included - look very authentic, you can even represent them in flesh in the front of your reader´s eyes.

Shaindel, Yaakov´s older daughter, who was initially a fierce opposant to this marriage - as usually within a very religious community those returning to Judaism are considered with a very critical eye and may be never fully trusted - is experiencing not only the first teenage awkward rebelious moments, but also a possible beginning of a depression, a sickness that prematurely killed her mother - who could not cope with post-partum confusion and committed suicide, a mortal sin in her conservative community. Her innocent adventure with an OTD - off the derech, a label applied to those who have left the righteous path of Orthodox, observant Judaism - who happens to be the son of her school principal is set by her parents in the context of a larger emotional trauma that may need a professional - psychological support. As the person recommended by the local rabbi and the principal is in fact a sexual predator, Yaakov and Leah are trying to publicly reveal his misbehavior, but they will become the victims of a mafia-like row of attacks against their own physical integrity as well as their professional status. Is this situation ´gam zu l´tova´ - all for good - or they are in fact caught in a complex situation when they have to follow the religious authority?

As usual in Ragen´s books, the characters are complex, able to face the manifolds of their complicated situations. However, there are a couple of details that caught my attention which are slippery. For instance, the description of the first physical contact between Yaakov and Leah which is neither cast or passionate, and is presented as a very awkward encounter which is unusual for two adults that were having relationships before. Another aspect which was out of place was Shaindel´s voice which sounded sometimes inadequate for her age and background: too reflexive and unusually philosophical. Also, in the discussion about Leah´s BT status, there is not a single person who, in fact, may mention that she is a born Jew, no matter how much she sinned before becoming religious. Strangely for communities where the everyday life is regulated by the expectations of holy events - Shabbes, the holidays - there is no clear mention of family reunions around the Shabbes table etc. As for Leah herself, although she is obviously a BT, calling the kids with ´sweetie´ and ´sweethearts´ sounds very goyishe. 

Despite those observations, I fully enjoyed the latest book by Naomi Ragen, for the complexity of the topics as well as for the strength of the writing. An Observant Wife has memorable characters and, as usual in the case of this author, the women, no matter the degree of observance, are strong and can so easily make the world a more nuanced and better place.

Rating: 3.5 stars