Book Review: Jephte´s Daughter by Naomi Ragen

In the Book of Judges, Jephtah (or Yiftah) led successfully the Israelites against Ammonites. In exchange, he made a vow to Gd to sacrifice whatever would come out of the door of his house first. It was his only daughter who showed up but unrelented, he went on with his vow. What a foolish character? What a crazy vow to make and keep, and how contrary to the Akeida of Yitzak when Gd stopped Avraham from killing his only son, whose faith he wanted to test himself. 

Jephte´s Daughter by Naomi Ragen was written at the end of the 1980s. Issues like the way in which women are treated sometimes by extreme men blind to see the many stumbling blocks they built around the Torah, are more stringent than ever. The erasure of women from the public realm is unfortunately a widespread behavior within the Orthodox communities in Israel and abroad, and it jeopardize the essence of Judaism.

The rich scion of a prestigious Hasidic dynasty arrives in Jerusalem from America in a glamorous style - old Sadagura style - to find a husband for her only daughter. All his relatives died in the Shoah and the husband of her daughter is expected to lead further his prestigious dynasty. Himself, he is rather busy with his businesses but is looking for a brilliant talmid of his generation, to head his heritage further. Isaac Meyer Harshen seems to be the right choice and although Batsheva started to have doubts about his real nature, they moved on with the wedding, for reasons of preserving the future. 

Once she moved to Jerusalem, in the ultra-orthodox headquarters of Mea Shearim, in the house his father bought, fully equipped, allowing them to have a relatively carefree life, that Isaac is learning daily in the Kollel, the things are getting worse and worse. Physical intimacy is considered a painful duty, her books of English literature are burned, she is constantly beaten, including during her pregnancy, she has to give up her right of using the common bank account and the modesty dress code is close to rags. Although such an interaction between husband and wife does not represent the way in which observant Jews are treating their wives, such cases, especially among the Gur Hasidim, may be possible. 

But he had just acted the way he thought he was expected to´. Isaac is an interesting character, in his stone heart way of behaving. He is far from being a scholar, was bullied and beat in school himself and is emotionally limited to understand life, no matter how much Torah studies. Clearly, Torah was not meant to be a rigid way of learning, but its study beautifies life. On the other hand, there is the community pressure, the ´fishbowl effect´, when people refuse to think by themselves as they are under a tremendous pressure from outside to behave in ways that the frum society expect them to. 

Batsheva´s drama is being torn between her obligations towards her parents and her religious duties. A brilliant mind herself, she is forced to submit to the instable husband. Once becoming a mother, she sees better what the future can be for her son and what knowledge he can acquire from such a father and his surrounding society - especially the cheder where pupils are encouraged to improve their learning through beatings.

Her radical decision to leave everything behind and move to London was not a break-up from Gd. She is keeping the mitzvot, eats kosher and abstain from any physical intimacy with a man, as she is not divorced yet. Her gentle return to herself is an example how a woman can keep being observant in dignity, while fully accomplishing her human potential. ´Tomorrow, she thought, and for the first time in many years, her days stretched out before her as her own book of clean blank pages full of endless, delightful possibilities´. 

Naomi Ragen succeded to manage a big range of characters, in a dramatic yet harmonious way. The non-Jewish characters of the book do represent a variety of typologies, from the anti-Semites to the simple neutral persons or her good friend Elizabeth who, besides being by principle against Batscheva´s strict upbringing, acts as a matchmaker from heaven. 

From the literally points of view, the book has so many surprising twists, until the very last page. As an avid reader of Naomi Ragen´s books - more to come in the next weeks and months - I´ve always found some interesting and relatable aspects about Jewish life and practice to think about. 

Rating: 4.5 stars

Book Review: An Observant Wife by Naomi Ragen

 

One year after reading An Unorthodox Match, I am done with the sequel, An Observant Wife which follows the beginning of the married life of Leah - former Lola, a BT (baal teshuva, repented Jew who returned to Orthodox Judaism) - and her husband, Yaakov. I had access to the book in the audiobook format, read by Gabra Zackman. 

Although a sequel, it stands on its own and one can read it independently without the risk of not being able to understand what it is about. There are several useful mentions about the past events taking place in the previous book. I´ve found this book better structured and balanced than the previous one, approaching very stringent topics for the Haredi community in America and elsewhere, such as acknowledging mental health and sexual molesters. 

One of the reasons why I am devouring anything written by Naomi Ragen - actually, I´ve listened to this audiobook in two days and I hardly wanted to take a too longer break curious about what is to come - is that compared to other authors approaching the ultra-Orthodox world with a critical eye she is doing it without the black-and-white perspective. Knowledgeable both in terms of practice and halachic standards, Ragen creates a world of many nuances, human with all its highs and lows. It is more or less how this world - in Boro Park or Kirias Joel or Bnei Brak - operates in real life. Therefore, the characters of her books - An Observant Wife included - look very authentic, you can even represent them in flesh in the front of your reader´s eyes.

Shaindel, Yaakov´s older daughter, who was initially a fierce opposant to this marriage - as usually within a very religious community those returning to Judaism are considered with a very critical eye and may be never fully trusted - is experiencing not only the first teenage awkward rebelious moments, but also a possible beginning of a depression, a sickness that prematurely killed her mother - who could not cope with post-partum confusion and committed suicide, a mortal sin in her conservative community. Her innocent adventure with an OTD - off the derech, a label applied to those who have left the righteous path of Orthodox, observant Judaism - who happens to be the son of her school principal is set by her parents in the context of a larger emotional trauma that may need a professional - psychological support. As the person recommended by the local rabbi and the principal is in fact a sexual predator, Yaakov and Leah are trying to publicly reveal his misbehavior, but they will become the victims of a mafia-like row of attacks against their own physical integrity as well as their professional status. Is this situation ´gam zu l´tova´ - all for good - or they are in fact caught in a complex situation when they have to follow the religious authority?

As usual in Ragen´s books, the characters are complex, able to face the manifolds of their complicated situations. However, there are a couple of details that caught my attention which are slippery. For instance, the description of the first physical contact between Yaakov and Leah which is neither cast or passionate, and is presented as a very awkward encounter which is unusual for two adults that were having relationships before. Another aspect which was out of place was Shaindel´s voice which sounded sometimes inadequate for her age and background: too reflexive and unusually philosophical. Also, in the discussion about Leah´s BT status, there is not a single person who, in fact, may mention that she is a born Jew, no matter how much she sinned before becoming religious. Strangely for communities where the everyday life is regulated by the expectations of holy events - Shabbes, the holidays - there is no clear mention of family reunions around the Shabbes table etc. As for Leah herself, although she is obviously a BT, calling the kids with ´sweetie´ and ´sweethearts´ sounds very goyishe. 

Despite those observations, I fully enjoyed the latest book by Naomi Ragen, for the complexity of the topics as well as for the strength of the writing. An Observant Wife has memorable characters and, as usual in the case of this author, the women, no matter the degree of observance, are strong and can so easily make the world a more nuanced and better place.

Rating: 3.5 stars

Book Review: An Unorthodox Match by Naomi Ragen

 

For me, Naomi Ragen is one of the Jewish authors writing Jewish stories that I can hardly put down. What I love about her books is how she is creating stories that sound so close from home, populated with authentic characters with deep and complex psychologies.

An Unorthodox Match - which I had in audiobook format - contrary to the literary and movie trends, is about a young woman, Lola/Leah, who decides to become religious and move to Borough Park and live, work and marry within a religious community. There is drama, but not that kind of drama the fans of Unorthodox - the book and the Netflix movie - are expecting. Of course, when you leave your secular life, everyone - especially your parents - are in shock. Of course that on the other side, the grass is not green and in addition to being suspicious, there is always the risk of being considered a second class Jew - even this is so anti-halachic and contrary to the very basis of our religion (what about Avraham avinu who was himself a idol worshipper, or Ruth the Moabite the great-greatmother of King David from whose lineage Mashiah will descend. A baal teshuva - BT - needs help and support and have to be half-deaf to not hear all the lashon hara that is said on his or her back.

Lola/Leah is going through her personal Gehenom as she is set on dates with people with serious mental disabilities or with other physical and personal issues. A kind woman with a golden heart she is helping in the house of Yaakov, a widower with five children who is pushed to have a new start by his energetic mother-in-law. His intention to marry Lola/Leah are welcomed with shock by the community and Yaakov´s own daughter, who is afraid that such an alliance will damage her chances of finding a good Torah scholar.

As in other book by Naomi Ragen I had the chance to read, the characters are going through complex personal transformations and choices. They unfairness of the shidduchim process and its incumbent crisis, the unfairness of the judgmental attitudes of the community, the pressure for role conformity and the unwelcoming attitude towards difference and deviants, as well as the terrific stigma of mental health are topics the people in the book - that can be easily identified with real people in any small or big Orthodox Jewish community - are reflexive about. 

Without taking stances, the book shows the complexity of people and issues affecting religious Jews, but also the need to search for a meaning, no matter your religious orientation, but a meaning which does not exclude the other and especially those who are not following your own interpretation of things.

A lot to think about for this Shabbes or for the rest of the holy month of Ellul. The King is in the fields and the yom ha´din of Yom Kippur is coming soon...

Rating: 4 stars

Book review: Women's Minyan by Naomi Ragen

I had Naomi Ragen on my to-read list for a long time, but fate wanted that my first real encounter to be not a novel, but a play. Based on a real story of a haredi woman who was blocked from having access to her children, it continues the usual discussion regarding the disregard towards women among some Haredi groups. Although women are celebrated and appreciated for their dedication to bringing children to the world, taking care of the house and most often also working while the men are learning in the yeshivot, the moment when a women is requesting her right to think and decide, the pressure of the community often turns against her.

It is not necessarily the rule, but such things happen and it can be enough to offer inspiration to the writer. I really liked the idea of the physical absence of men in the play, while they continue to be the background noise and the constant reference - both as a source of fear and source of authority - for the women characters assuming that: 'We are just women. There are things we can't understand. We're not on their level'.

The play has a more optimistic note than the reality, as the destitute Chana fights for and wins the chance of being heard, in the front of a 'minyan' of 10 other women, among which her daughters and mother-in-law. The open heart breaks the barriers the men rose for women to keep them weak. 'They enforce marriage and divorce laws that keep us chained like prisoners to men we despise'. 

From the literary point of view, I particularly liked the first part of the play, where tensions and symbolic details are added in order to create a crecendo of expectations. Unfortunately, the closer we are from the end, the slower the pace and the dialogue is less dramatic. 

Although I am fully aware of many of the realities of the daily wife within Orthodox communities presented in the play, I always pledge for nuances and more colours than black and life. However, this play increased my interest to discover more works by Naomi Ragen.

Rating: 3 stars

The Enemy Beside Me by Naomi Ragen

 

It is always a great pleasure to read and review books by Naomi Ragen, whose characters and topics are allways mind challenging. My latest read by her though, The Enemy Beside Me is reaching a different level, both in terms of topic and complex approach. Set during Corona times between Israel and Lithuania, this is her 13th book. 

Taking over Survivor´s Campaign from her father, Milia Goldstein is a fierce campaigner for revealing the truth about the crimes against Jews committed during WWII in Lithuania. Perpetrated by local nationalists whose memories were brought to life after the independence of the country from the Soviet Union, those do fuel false identities and legitimities. While listening to some of the testimonies inserte into the story about the horrible cruely against Jews, who mostly went unpunished, I could not refrain from thinking about 7/10. What is wrong with this world to enjoy torturing to death innocent children and women?

The wife if a successful surgeon, Milia is faced with the fail of her marriage, as she is revealed that her husband cheated on her with a family friend. A strong woman nevertheless, she is decided to focus on what really matters and accept the invitation to speak at a conference in Lithuania, organised with European money by Dr Darius Vida.

Although there is a kind of burgeoning romance between the two - quite predictable, if you ask me - the strongest part of the book is Vida´s acknowledgement of his own family past. Somehow, Milia is giving him strength to not give up principles over immediate financial or social status. Milia and Darius are both of them fighting for reconciliation, coming from two opposite directions. Their concerted efforts do make this world a much better place.

Ragen treats always her characters with attention, and all of them play their role in the configuration of the narrative. My favorite is Vida, because he shows exactly what we may always expect in our fellow humans, no matter their ethnicity or religion; capacity to change, strength to chose to truth over lie, no matter how hard it is.

Rating: 3.5 stars

Book Review:The Saturday Wife by Naomi Ragen

'She needed someone to fall in love with, someone who would destroy the channels through which her life flowed, allowing her to irrevocably change direction'. 

I never had such a bad feeling about a book character. Delilah, the woman main character of The Saturday Wife by Naomi Ragen, an author I've read previously, is a kitsch Jewish Emma Bovary. An enchanteress, with no sense of worth and direction, keen to jump on the wealth ladder but unable to because of her social status and, I dare to say, intelligence, she is despicable. No values, no evil per se either, an opportunist with fake expectations and not a pinch of self-awareness. A victim of an environment of overzealousness and permanent suspicion of human nature that she cannot escape. A vulgare creature hungry to achieve a little bit of normality while acquiring some top brand clothes and bags.

Although going through the yeshiva schools, she couldn't care less about the modesty values but unable to make the big step of leaving the stringencies of her Orthodox community.

The story in itself makes sense: a girl from a modest religious background, without a status, trying to fulfill the dream of a good Jewish wife marrying up a rabbi - which given her yichus - lineage which determines at a great extent the chances of finding a good match - did great. But she wants more, she wants the big mansions with swimming pool and expensive jewellery when all she got was a very modest apartment in Bronx, within walking distance from the shul - synagogue - where her husband with a modest intelligent despite his illustrious background - was supposed to take over from his respected grandfather. Being a rabbi's wife - a rebbetzin - means lots of social and moral obligations that she can hadly fulfill. She is pushing her poor husband, Chaim, to take the position at Ohel Aaron Congregation in Swallow Lake, where no serious learned man would go. But the drama continues as she wants more and is never happy. Her major project, besides befriending the convert American wife of a Jewish Russian con magnate from the fictional Turdistan - which in English urban dictionary means toilet or latrine - is to donate luxury bags to victims of terror attacks in Israel (can it get any more idiotic?).

On one hand, there are a lot of truths to be told about the stringencies of the Orthodox Jewish life, the limited place of the women and the huge expectations done, about the absurd fences around the Torah - including in terms of head covering and women modesty in general - built by rabbis in the last decade, and the striving for excess among successful Jewish families - with safari-themed bar/bat mitzvas and other excessive investments which are rightly 'the opposite of everything Judaism valued and cherished and taught'. Those considerations are slipping into the story, with a mix of references of various kinds - both Jewish and non-Jewish - but the author's voice sounds too doctored and although available are disturbing the narrative. Why not introducing those issues as part of the story itself?

On the other hand, the characters themselves and the story are coping with way too many loopholes. There are characters coming and going into the story, as consistent as thin as piece of paper. There are a lot of incoherencies of the behaviors of the characters as well. Delilah is living in an Orthodox community and barely covering her hair? She is a mother living in an Orthodox community and can she so easily just escape being part of various motherhood circles which are so common and hard to escape? Her in-laws are completely absent which given their status is hardly realistic. For both Chaim and Delilah, their family connections seem to loose that you might think both of them are in fact recently returned to religion not born religious. After having a boyfriend - something inconceivable in the religious world, but necessarily impossible - and even having intimate relationships with him she is repeting while praying during the screening of a Star War episode in a public movie theater? And all the secular references - including Delilah's penchant for Broadway musicals - are so easily taken, no regrets, no second thoughts as she grew up listening to Britney Spears instead of Shabbes niggunim all her life. And so on and so on. Last but not least, my purchased Kindle edition has embarassing mispells.

To be honest, I've expected more coherence from a well-aclaimed author. Her truths are good for a non-fiction book or an article about women in Orthodox Judaism - I agree with from many points of view. I met women behaving like Delilah at a certain extent and now I can understand them better, but the character she ends up with is too much and doesn't make sense both humanly and from the literary point of view.

Overall, was disappointed about The Saturday Wife and I can hardly give more than a 2.5 rating. However, would explore more of Ragen's books soon as her ideas are too interesting to not follow up, by giving another try to her works.

Jewish Book Review: The Sisters Weiss by Naomi Ragen

If the Saturday Wife was largely a disappointment, The Sisters Weiss by Naomi Ragen brought back the pleasure of reading from this author.

The novel takes place in the 'Ultra-Orthdox' part of Brooklyn, starting in the 1950s, where the two sisters Pearl and Rose are growing up in a modest religious family. Their life options are clear and relatively limited: they are going to school and learn some basics until they reach the age when the search for a shidduch (match) starts. Once there is one, the path of motherhood and childbearing/rearing while the man is studying Torah is what a wooman is offered. This system means stability, continuity and it's the traditinal way.

However, after Rose is exposed to the library of a French colleague, her life changed. A photography book considered 'dangerous' will seal her destiny. She is send to stay with her grandmother and enrolled in a very conservative Bais Ruchel Satmer school, where even the religious learning offered to girls is superficial and extremely limited in terms of knowledge.

But Rose keeps going her dangerous way and enrolls for a photograhy class. Matched to a mediocre yet with good-yichus (family background) she is running away the day of her wedding leaving behind an ashamed family and starting her way that will make her a famous photograher.

Four decade later, Pearl's daugher, Rivka, will do the same and her first contacts in the outside world will be her cousin, Hannah, Rose's secular daughter. The story repeats itself, but only the context is the same, as there is no guarantee for happy endings. Rivka will feel fully the dramatic consequence of his radical decision, which also means being cut from a warm community of traditions and celebrations. Even the strong Rose felt the alienation and the childhood family memories of being together with people sharing the same values will be always cherished. 

The Sisters Weiss is a realistic depiction of what really does it mean to leave the Hasidic community, and a traditional way of life in general. The strong ties cannot be cut automatically, on both sides and the heartbreak is not only on the side of those who left, but those who remain do also have their share of sadness. Another aspect the novel features very well is the hardship of adapting to the non-traditional way of life. Rivka's mistake in considering a sexual encounter a relationship comes from the culture she belongs to, where women and girls do not have 'boyfriends': all their life they are prepared to be ready to fulfill their role as wives, spending the rest of their life with a husband. Those women are simply not prepared to understand the accidental and short-term relationships in the secular world.

Another layer of the narrative features women stories. Each of the women that appear in The Sisters Weiss do have a story to tell, which made it into the bigger Jewish women story. From women to surrender to their husbands to rebelious women who are searching for an authentic soul mates. 

There is no happy ending and it is one of the many things I've liked about this book. The author found the best tone and non-emotional approach which suits such stories whose emotion resides in the strength of the characters.

For me, it was by far one of the best OTD (off the derech) reading in a long time, overcoming many of the relatively memoirs on this topic I've read in the long time.

Book Review: The Covenant by Naomi Ragen

Esther, Leah, Maria and Ariana survived Auschwitz and made a covenant to always be ready to help each other. When the husband of Leah's granddaughter and their daughter are kidnapped by terrorists belonging to Izzedim al-Qassam terrorists in Israel, the four ladies reunite both their prayers and their connections and financial resources to save the two innocent lives.

There are many ways one can read The Covenant by Naomi Ragen, probably one of the best books I've read by this author so far: as an international thriller involving international actors; as a book about the torments of Jewish life in Israel and abroad; as a book about frienships cemented during terrible times. All reading are correct, in my opinion and it makes the book interesting and entertaining. Personally, I've read it in one sitting, curious about how the kidnapping case will evolve, as well as about the human interactions in time of crisis. 

The covenant uniting the four women, not all of them Jewish, is what separates humanity from lack of it, fear from the risk taken of never being helpless. It has to do more with human understanding and unity against evil, wherever it comes, regardless its justifications.

In the end, what kept me passionately reading this book was its obvious sparkle of humanity.